The Dysfunctional Biological Mother-Daughter Relationship
The relationship between a mother and her daughter, although pure, can sometimes be dysfunctional. There are numerous reasons, such as mothers being dismissive of what their daughters say or overstepping, leaving their daughters feeling unheard.
The mothers, in turn, either become aggressive or deny the entire interaction when confronted. Furthermore, mothers tend to be controlling and micromanage everything their daughters do. It brings about the feeling in the daughter of being not ‘good enough’ and distrustful.
The worst is when the mother is emotionally unavailable and overly self-involved with her own life and career. She may end up neglecting her child-right from feeding them, disciplining them, attending school events, helping with studies, and overall upbringing. As a result, children may grow up with resentment and a never-forgiving hatred towards their mothers. My relationship with my mother has been very dysfunctional to the point of no return, and she has no idea about it. Talking is not a solution as her school of thought does not match mine and her way of thinking is widely different from mine.
This situation has led to me resenting her over the years and disregard her opinion. On the bright side, I went on to form a beautiful relationship with my father and my aunt, who both took the place of my mother in raising me and doing everything else she failed to do. At some point, I will probably forgive her because I do not want to carry on with that negativity indefinitely.
This kind of relationship is difficult to fix as the damage is rooted in childhood and even though the mother does not realize what they did wrong, go about dominating their daughter’s life or advising on life, though it may not always be in the best interest of the daughter. Although, if the mother and daughter want to fix their relationship, they should seek professional help, and if the daughter feels another woman in her life can be the mother she never had, she should most certainly value that relationship and nurture it.